We can learn to be honest without being cruel.
It’s mean to be honest with someone, without showing that you care for the person’s feelings. Don’t say something that will hurt others even if it’s honest. We need to be aware of how fragile relationships are. We need to remember that relationships are made up of people–people who are strong, but also fragile. Anything another person said or did is forgiven and forgotten, and it has no power to hurt me a second time.įriendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable. I will not waste a single second on any kid of mental argument. Once we dismiss mental arguments, we can give our time and attention to things that really matter. We owe it to ourselves not to destroy another moment’s happiness with futile mental arguments that serve no good purpose in our lives. We must also accept and dismiss past mistakes and failures, no matter who was at fault. We are not responsible for changing their opinions. We can maintain our serenity in all situations by accepting people as they are. Even the satisfaction of letting ourselves “win” the mental argument doesn’t really settle the matter. This only gives more life to the hurt we have been feeling: in effect, we cooperate in hurting ourselves repeatedly. Sometimes we engage in mental arguments with those who seem to have defeated us or put us down. We can avoid them by learning acceptance and maintaining serenity at all costs. Mental arguments are in that class because they destroy peace of mind and self-control. Bad thinking is any line of thought that tends to be destructive. We were seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems.Īgain and again we hear that bad thinking and drinking are linked together. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems. Without that, nothing could have happened. The Wright Brothers’ almost childish faith that they could build a machine which would fly was the mainspring of their accomplishment. I pray that I may learn patience, humility, and peace. I pray that I may be still and commune with God. I must learn to take the calm with me into the most hurried days. In the rush of work and worry, the deep, inner silence is necessary to keep me on an even keel. I will keep calm in the face of disturbance, keep that deep, inner calm through all the experiences of the day. I will keep my emotions in check, although others about me are letting theirs go. I will try to be unruffled, no matter what happens. Have I got over my obsession by following the A.A. Most alcoholics have tried both of these and have found that they don’t work. The other mistake is that it can be cured by willpower only. One mistake is that it can be cured by physical treatment only. People generally make two mistakes about alcoholism. We developed a mental compulsion to keep drinking until we got good and drunk.
One drink started a train of thought that became an obsession, and from then on, we couldn’t stop drinking. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and responsibility. I could no longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my disease. From that time on, I had to face the ever-present knowledge that my every action, word and thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. There came a time in my program of recovery when the third stanza of the Serenity Prayer - “The wisdom to know the difference” - became indelibly imprinted in my mind.
Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living.
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